Post by The Overseer on Aug 16, 2020 18:03:23 GMT
An Introduction To The Archive
Documented On Multiversal Date: 32000-65-234-73-Alpha
Documentation By: Drew Dah ShorStraw
Documented On Multiversal Date: 32000-65-234-73-Alpha
Documentation By: Drew Dah ShorStraw
A tape is slid into a VCR. A DVD is inserted into the left nostril of a cybernetic being and is playing on the television located in her stomach. A pot smoking demi-god hands out a set of pamphlets. A demonic nature spirit plays on a song that vibrates that molecules in the air in such a way that it becomes a set of visions. An auditorium is filled to the brim, and has not yet realized that the class they thought they were attending is no longer a part of the reality they were members of mere moments ago. In whatever way they are receiving this message the basic content will be the same. They are all now witnessing an introduction into The Archives.
For the purposes of this documentation the following information shall be recorded according to the DVD version of the introduction. For further information on the other possible version of the introduction please refer to the versions of this document documented on Multiversal Date 32000-65-234-73-Beta through Multiversal Date 32000-65-234-73-CRUNK.
The Screen is a black void. From the left side of the screen walks in a reptilian humanoid wearing a plain black suit and tie suited for a formal occasion. When they begin to vocalize they does so in the native language of the listener, and at the same time they moves their hands in motions that are equivalent to any type of sign language that the observer would understand. The differences in his vocalizations from listener to listener aren't caused by the usual universal translation, but instead by split timeline imaging. Further details of this recording technique can be found in "An Introduction To Split Timeline Imaging" by Drew Dah ShorStraw.
"In the beginning there was nothing and it was quite dull. So to pass the time something began to tell a story. This story was the first story. This story was the last story. This story was the story of everything." The reptilian states as the background around them goes from a simple black void to being filled with images of different types of galaxies that fly by the presenter as if they are being tossed through space. "Who exactly began telling this story is unclear, but what is a little bit more clear are the individuals who were there to hear it. I can only refer to this as a little bit more clear because we know directly of one of them, and we know that others are in some status of existence or non-existence."
The swirling galaxies come to an end as the void once more returns. Next to the Reptilian appears a symbol. The symbol consists of three circles equidistant from each other residing in a regular hexagon. Upon sight of the symbol the observer is implanted with the knowledge that it is a name.
"This listener grew quite fond of stories as they helped to alleviate the great boredom that was the void. Around him many gathered often gaining favors in exchange for telling their own stories. Eventually this gathering of entities came to be known as the organization known as The Archive." At this point in the video the hexagon breaks and the three circles fly up to be above the reptilians head. They motion to the first circle, and the word 'SCRIBES' appears within the circle. "This organization is easily split into three distinctions. The first of these is the Scribes. They do the job of recording down all of reality as it is reported to them, and also take care of a large amount of the internal bureaucracy of the larger organization." A small scholarly cap appears on the first circle.
The reptilian motions to the second circle. The word 'WORSHIPERS' appears within the circle. "This second group of individuals are commonly known as the Worshipers. They understand the listener to be a deity whose existence is sustained partially by it's observation. Their duties are largely to carry out the most direct desires of the listener as interpreted through the few members of their specific group that are given the glory of constant contact with him." A smaller version of the listener's symbol appears over the top of the circle.
The reptilian motions to the third circle. The word 'CHARACTERS' appears within this circle. "The third group of individuals are known as the Characters. Their main duty is to cause splits in the timeline that wouldn't otherwise occur, and thus create more stories to tell. Their main way of causing this is by going to random universes. While in these universes they will often complete objectives that bring back greater resources for the entirety of The Archives, their direct superiors, and themselves." A sheet of paper is handed to the reptilian by a tentacle coming from the right of the screen. They take note of the wiring on the paper, and then consume the paper. "It is at this point that I would like to mention that two of the five heads of the Character's board heavily discourage potential Characters from calling themselves bounty hunters as they feel it lessens the importance of the work they carry out. Two of the other heads encourage the use of the term. The fifth had no comment on the matter." After this statement a pair of shades falls over the area on the circle where it's eyes would be if it was a humanoid based emoji.
"At the end of the day you will all be put where it is thought your services will be most valuable to The Archive. Just remember that we don't judge here no matter where you end up. You can be a member of any of the three groups. You can be a righteous hero. You can be a universe conquering villain. You can be a researcher who spends their free time playing various board games with their friends. You might even be the next host of the introduction seminar! The only thing you cannot be while employed by The Archive is boring." The Screen cuts to black.
At this point in the introduction those who are forcibly brought into The Archive often times try to flee so a three minute and thirty-three second loop of a peaceful song from the current listeners culture is set to play for a maximum of two hours while The Archive members in charge of introductions attempt to calm any new recruits.